Thursday, 8 June 2017

to twerk or not to twerk, 8/June/17

(health warning: you knew it would be, a politically-tinged daily bloggery am afraid, it is election day after all....... if you're squeamish look away now.....)

once again woke to the sound of rain, rain, falling down, splatting the roof and sploshing the ground along with a sodden caws few soggy jackdaws........

and round and round and round we go and where we stop no one knows.... that is if we ever stop........ welcome to an Election Day Bloggery Special where I will indulge in deep analytical analysis of a step-by-step, moment by dull moment of the swings and roundabouts, gaggles and gurgles of yet another general election.......

.... or probably not............

... unlike the media and politicians who aren't allowed to talk about the election once the ballots are open I can freely to babble whatever drivel I like about it being neither one nor the other and an irrelevant blogger........... a mere two years into what is normally a five year term here the government  in its infinite lack of wisdom unnecessarily called a general election for no other reason than they are running scared over the whole brexit debacle and and an attack of "ooooo, nobody likes me, nobody likes me, I need affirmation that I'm universally-loved" collywobbles in the prime minister (awww, bless......) we are having an excitedly-titled, almost-says-what-it-does-on-the-pack General Election....... which has done nothing much but catch everyone on the hop and send all and sundry into a spiral of spinning and uncomfortably embarrassing twerking.......... oh my, the image of twerking politicians, it might actually get me through today after all..........

...... in this island constituency where I find myself wearily day-in and day-out losing the will to get out of bed every morning we have a choice of five candidates which is paltry compared with other areas.... yes it seems choice isn't equally-distributed around the country like some seem to mistakenly believe........ they are:

Labour, LibDem, Plaid Cymru, Conservative, and...... isn't there another?.... oh yes, the foot-in-mouth party, UKIP......... although I'm convinced their candidate isn't real having heard hide nor hair of them through leaflets or in fact sod all.... not that I mind........ and that's it, no Monster Raving Loonies or Jedi, not even a Church of the Militant Elvis Party!.... sadly no Green option either who really have to get out of their suburban middle-class echo chambers and field candidates in every single constituency if they are ever going to be taken seriously by the electorate here and have any chance of a voice in politics here.......

..... so here we are again, awaiting for the polling stations to open...... whose gates I hear creaking as I write.......... the race is on!

.... yawn.......

...... actually, voting day is always the most boring day of the entire election, although I will take boring over the horrendous events that happened leading up to this over the past few weeks.......

.... oh dear, this daily blog is getting way too long now and I have no idea how to stop it...... seems today the media might have to do some real work and not just bang on guessing and speculating about the election revelling in an ever-deepening slurry of negative campaigning.... something to which I do not respond favourably too and any politician or party indulging it gets short shrift from me.......... there, that's told them!......... because, of course, they all listen to me.... don't they?............

...... it's raining too..... and we know what that potentially means.... low turnout.... yes, would you believe that some won't bother exercise their right in the democratic process (?).... ok, almost democratic) and go out to vote because...... it's raining.......... turnout from past performances here have at best been 60'ish %, at worse around 30%......... although we might surprise ourselves this time..... who am I kidding!.....

...... meanwhile I might set up my own political party for the next one... the Slumber Party...... "the party that likes to say................ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

........someone stop me writing pleeeeeeeease before I start talking about otter poo or some such.... or worse, twerking like a politician!

© robert greig 2017

ps....... thank you for your patience for making it this far.

1 comment:

Martin Kloess said...

Sorry. What were you saying? I dozed o...