Wednesday, 11 November 2015

if small is big then how big is small? 11th November 2015

"hi, how are you?".... "I'm fine thanks"........ seems we're all fine..... whenever I hear that or anyone asks that, the answer's usually the same.... "fine thanks"............ small talk boggles me..... which maybe is partly why I'm so awkward and useless in social situations, I have no idea what to do with it....... and what's small talk and what's big talk?........... where's the line between them and which is appropriate when?............ I've listened to entire conversations of small talk lasting ages and all the while a continuing often increasing discomfort to one or both or all of the participants.......... apparently it's polite, the convention to start conversations like this, small, light... especially on meeting someone for the first time and even someone you know..... it's like reinforcing 'I'm here!'... which is obvious, as you are 'here'.......... it's supposed to reinforce relationships...... how it really deep down does this I've no idea........ "touching base", some people say.... "hi, just 'touching base', how are you?"........... if all that gets is an empty, "yeh, fine thanks", what's the point?.............. so confusing, when and where and who with to small talk with..... with some all there is is small talk and nothing else..... with others there's both small and big talk and yet each time you chat you have to work out which you're supposed to do...... it's also thought to say, "I'm not a threat".... that's very primal...... like making sure your hands are always visible and again, not a threat......... hence shaking hands too....... although some peoples handshakes can break your fingers, that's pretty threatening!.. whiles others are like shaking dead fish...... not a threat but eeeuuuuwwww!

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