Thursday, 2 February 2017

the never-well, 2nd February 2017

Doris...... I ask you... Doris!..... I've nothing against the name Doris but as a name for a storm that's just pulling my...... finger........ Storm.. Doris.        the latest 'named' storm to grace our presence and shores, and hair if you have any where the storm is bound to enjoy ruffling more than somewhat, as storms do........ as I have no hair then I'm quite, quite safe......... it's definitely blowing a hoolie out there, and not blowing  a 'Doris'.... see, it just doesn't work..... now if they insist on naming storm-force storms alphabetically and male and female alternately and 'tis the turn of the latter then may I suggest 'Dorothea' as one perhaps with a bit more oomph!...... I don't know why, maybe it's having more syllables that does it, that gives it that just bit extra... oomph!..... and oomph! is a good thing, especially when it comes to storms, after all it can't justifiable regard itself storm-worthy without oomph! (oh yes, the exclamation mark is essential!), otherwise it'd be a breeze and for reasons only known to themselves meteorologist don't give breezes names..... at a stretch Doris might work for a breeze, but on the other hand, 'Breeze Doris'?.... I don't think so...... now Storm Dorothea has an almost mythical ring, born from the mouths of storytellers down the ages........ there's a quarry here called Dorothea, disused it's a stark place, dark, where dank grey slate hangs sheering steeply into a dark stillness of uninviting water... the colour of oil, a vast never-well an unholy stillness, almost an air of desperation even ghosts fear to haunt for too long if they can help it... despite this it attracts quarry divers of the sporting variety, some of whom consequently never left.....

© robert greig

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