Tuesday, 10 May 2016

uninvited, 10th May 2016



increasingly feeling like I'm not invited to the future...... a strange feeling...... looking on surrounded by so much I don't like, disappoint, sadden....... some mystify me, not so much that I don't understand them but because they make no sense...... as years fall away the point of me gets usurped, not that I'm sure I ever had any point at any... point...... a disconnect different from that I felt as a youth...... why should I do anything, what am I contributing too?.... surely not a future that feels as distant as pluto.... is it selfish to say, why bother?........ am I the cause of my own isolation or am I being isolated?........ there's a house, old farmhouse, alongside a road I sometimes drive along, I've never stopped at it for closer inspection but instead always just driven past it over the years watching it fall into disrepair, as they say..... to a point where "in need of some tlc" would be understating it....... over-topped by trees that've grown since it's been abandoned, left to its fate by whoever it was who last walked out of its door and never returned...... all the windows have long gone of course, window frames with a hint of leftover peeling paint to suggest what they used to be, the roof is almost entirely ivy-clad and almost all the wooden beams are splintering, exposed to the elements.... there's even evidence of charred scarring on one stone wall......... I've not seen inside it, like I say I've never stopped....... no one's ever seemed to claim it nor the land around it..... birds have though and no doubt a host of other wildlife........ I drive past as probably hundreds do.... it doesn't seem to be invited to the future either....

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