Tuesday, 12 April 2016

many possibles, 12th April 2016

so many possible realities..... I slept well last night, in fact I've been getting to sleep better these days, mostly anyway, although I do still dream... dreams have long been a bane I'd rather not have at all..... still don't sleep long but what sleep I sleep I seem to actually sleep.... famous last words of course, tempting tonights sleep to be a shambles if I'm not careful........ so may possible realities... each one of us has our own, the stories we live in this very moment until the next and those we amend from our past making them better or worse than they were and often far removed from what actually happened.... and all these people I've known way back and now don't know or even have contact with any more.... my first proper girlfriend, where is she now I wonder.... so many possible realities.. she like many others I used to know or hang out with may have even died, hopefully not but...... so many possible realities.... did she get married, have a family, what did she become?.......... so many now ghosts to me, even some of their names are lost though not their faces......... it was a time before the habit of such things as an 'online presence', and even mobile phones.... when keeping in touch was something you had to really make an effort for and when you didn't they weren't simply clickable through a search engine.... so many possible realities acted out while mine shambolically swerved its incoherent way to here, right now, this moment.. for better and quite often worse.... would I even want to meet them again, these ghosts from the past?...... would we even get on anymore?.... so many possible realities frustrating my wondering......

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